


Happy pills

by Who_da_celia13



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Drug Abuse, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Team Sparia, attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 06:39:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9807728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Who_da_celia13/pseuds/Who_da_celia13
Summary: (Set in season four 20x4 Aria, Hanna, and Emily confront Spencer about her drug problem. But instead of going over to Hanna's and giving them her pills she keeps them)After her friends leave Spencer finds herself in a crisis. And isn't thinking rationally.





	1. Chapter 1

Her friends had left, after they gave her a long and painful lecture about how she was spiraling out of control and ruining her future.

They were right, she was losing her grip on reality. Just a few days ago she imagined her and her friends living in black and white, And Aria almost getting killed in a night club. But she needed to stay awake because she needed to find out about Ezra, she needed to expose him as the black hooded creep he was.

But now that she knew he was 'A' did she really need to keep taking those pills.

Of course she did those pills were her life line. They were the only thing that got her through a day. She needed those pills just as much as she needed air in her lungs.

She climbed the stairs to her room marching up the steps, she hesitated at her door. She had made a promise to them that she wouldn't take another pill. But did she really mean it. Or was she just lying, lying had become a second nature to her. She had done it so much that she didn't even realize she was telling a lie until it was too late.

She pushed open her door walking over to her drawer and gliding it open. Immediately seeing the orange and yellow pills, she picked them up and stared at them her thoughts racing.

_Just throw them out, you don't need them anymore get rid of them._

_No, you might not need them but you want them they are the only thing keeping you alive keeping you going take them, take them all._

_I made a promise to my friends, I promised I would never put another pill in my mouth and I can't break that promise they would think I'm a monster._

_They already do, did you see they way they were looking at you, like you were crazy, like you completely lost your mind. And they're opinions aren't going to change if you obey their demands._

_They'll also never forgive you for disobeying them._

_Well then don't stay to find out what they'll think, take them all tonight and forget tomorrow, forget later, forget having to look into their disappointed faces again just do it you know you want to._

_No I can't do that to them, to Toby, to my family I can't._

_WHAT DO THEY CARE, TO THEM YOUR JUST A COMPLICATION, A FAILURE, A LIAR._

_No I'm not._

_YES YOU ARE, JUST TAKE THEM ALREADY BEFORE ITS TOO LATE._

The voices fighting back and forth in her head got too loud for her to to stand. She couldn't take it anymore, so she listened to the loudest one.

She popped them in her mouth one at a time swallowing hard, repeating the process about fifteen times. Once they were all gone Spencer sobbed and crumpled to the floor. Tears were streaming down her face. She leaned up against her bed and whispered the words "I'm sorry" on a loop until her eyelids closed shut. Her breathing slowed down, and eventually stopped she drifted off into a deep sleep, a very deep sleep. From which she was not gonna wake up from.


	2. Chapter 2

Aria had been pacing back and forth in her room since she had gotten home.

She couldn't stop thinking about Spencer and how desperate she looked, how unraveled and broken she was. But that's what happens when you have an addiction it controls you, it breaks you and makes you vulnerable and weak.

Aria shuffled over to her bed and plopped down letting out a long sorrowful sigh. She laid back on her pillows trying to calm down.

But all she saw was Spencer's distressed face, tears rolling down her cheeks. Aria sat up cupping her face in her hands. Spencer had promised that she wouldn't take anymore, but was she supposed to believe that. She has an addiction she can't just quit that cold turkey.

Aria hopped off her bed and grabbed her purse and headed for the door. She got in her car and started the ignition, backed out and sped off to Spencer's to make sure she was okay.

The whole way there Aria couldn't help but think about what Spencer was saying. That Ezra is 'A' it couldn't possibly be true, Ezra would never hurt her or her friends.

She pulled up to the front gate and parked. She hesitated before getting out, not sure what she was gonna walk in on. Spencer still crying, or the mean and angry Spencer. She sucked in a big breath and prepared herself for whatever happened next.

She knocked on the door waiting for someone to open it but no one did, she knocked again this time louder just in case she wasn't heard. But yet again she got the same response, which was no response.

She wasn't gonna take no for an answer, not while her friend was hurting and needed comforting. She opened the door letting herself in. "Spence, Spence its Aria, Spencer" she called out through the empty house it was completely silent.

Aria ventured up the staircase. "Spencer" she reached the top of the stairs. An eerie feeling shot shivers down her spine, she walked towards Spencer's room calling her name. Aria slowly rounded the corner into Spencer's bedroom.

She froze, her eyes went directly to her friends body laying limp and motionless on the floor. "SPENCER" she screamed running to her side. Aria placed her fingers on Spencer's throat to check for a pulse, there was none.

"No, no, no" she blurted out. Aria propped Spencer up against herself and jammed her fingers down Spencer's throat. Trying to get her to puke up all the pills she took. After a few seconds of Aria frantically wiggling her fingers around Spencer's throat, Spencer's body tensed up.

Aria hastily reached for the waste basket by the nightstand. Spencer vomited getting a little on Aria's hand but nonetheless out. Aria held her friend upright and steady as as she threw up what she was hoping were the last of the pills she took. Once Spencer stopped, Aria sat her up against the bed and began to examine her friend.

"Spencer, Spencer hey, hey look at me" she said grabbing ahold of her face and holding it up. "Aria" Spencer whimpered, tears started streaming down her face. "no,why" she mumbled under her breath, crying harder.

Aria spilled tears of her own "oh my god Spencer." She said as she pulled her weak friend in for a hug, wrapping her arms around her as tightly as possible. She never really noticed how small Spencer was until now.

They sat like that for a few minutes, weeping into each others shoulders. Aria pulled back realizing she had yet to call 911 she reached for her phone but Spencer caught her hand. "Hey it's okay I'm just gonna call an ambulance" Aria said "no, no don't please" Spencer begged.

Aria looked at Spencer's eyes, they were full of sadness and pain. "Fine" she said crawling next to Spencer and embracing her once more. "why, why would you do this Spence" Aria asked.

 "I-I wanted to sleep, i needed t-to sleep" Spencer whispered choking on her words. Aria's heart shattered at the sound of Spencer's voice. It was usually angelic, deep and soft but now it was just so raspy and raw.

Aria shut her eyes tightly trying to push out the thought of Her friend killing herself.

Aria eventually found strength in her legs again. She stood up lifting Spencer with her, she set the half conscious Spencer on the bed and carefully laid her head down on the pillows. "You need to rest" she said.

Spencer kept mumbling the words I'm sorry until her voice cracked and quit working, Spencer finally closed her eyes. Aria stood there cautiously watching her chest rise and fall. After she was assured that her friend was just sleeping she went to the bathroom.

Where she washed her hands and looked at herself in the mirror. Black tear tracks from her mascara covered her face. She got a wet rag and wiped them off then she wrung it out and took back to Spencer's room, and gently cleaned her friends face.


	3. Chapter 3

Spencer woke up her mouth was dryer than the desert and she had a splitting headache. She sat up remembering the events of last night she ran her hand through her messy hair.

She heard someone shuffling around she cocked her head in the direction of the disturbance, it was Aria she was passed out on the wooden chair Toby had made for her.

Spencer pulled back the covers and got out of bed as quietly as possible, she took the top layer of blankets on her bed and ever so gently rested it on Aria's small figure.

Spencer tiptoed out of her room and down the hall to the bathroom. She stopped and studied her appearance in the mirror her hair was unruly and disheveled her face was pale and defined by bony cheeks and deep dark bags under her eyelids. Her eyes were small and bloodshot, she was a mess.

She couldn't stand to look at herself anymore she hated what she saw in the mirror, she tilted her head down and padded back down the hallway. She didn't dare go back in her room afraid that she might wake Aria.

After everything she had put her through last night she deserved to sleep. She kept going until she reached Melissa's room, she dug through the drawers trying to find a pair of decent clothes to change into. Finally she settled on a light blue T and a pair of skinny jeans, she slipped them on and went to go downstairs.

As she was sneaking past her room Aria jumped awake "Spencer" she cried out hopping out of the chair.

Spencer was standing in the door way "I'm right here" she said softly Aria spun around and went to envelope her in a tight hug.

"How are you feeling, are you ok, what were you just doing?" Aria asked very enthusiastically Spencer sighed and replied "I'm fine, I was just changing into a new pair of cloths." Aria gave her a concerned glare "Spence wh-" she started but Spencer cut her off.

"Look last night I wasn't thinking rationally, I was out of control. And I made a huge mistake and I didn't mean to, I was just in a really bad place last night and I'm sorry I'm so sorry." Spencer's voice wavered and her bottom lip started quivering Aria face saddened.

"Oh Spencer I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have left you alone last night, I should've stayed with you. Just promise me that you'll never do that again" Spencer locked eyes with her and nodded her head "yeah."

They both had tear tracks weaving down their cheeks, they  hooked each other in a tight hug. When they finally let go Spencer led Aria downstairs for some coffee.

They sat in silence, occasionally glancing at each other. Until there was a knock at the door, Spencer trudged over to see who it was. 

It was Hanna and Emily "there you are, where the hell were you guys last night, and why weren't you answering any of our calls we were worried about you." Hanna shot out stepping through the doorway. 

Emily turned to Spencer and asked "how are you doing" Spencer glanced over at Aria who was looking right back at her. "I'm fine", "good" Hanna blurted "now, why were you guys MIA last night."

Spencer and Aria shot worried glances at each other, Aria began "I came back to check on Spence and-" but was cut off by Spencer. "And we talked a lot, and we lost track of time and fell asleep" Spencer said looking over at Aria.

Emily sat on one side of Aria and Hanna on the other Spencer offered them coffee, but they turned it down because they thought it was too strong. "Amateurs" she said they all laughed, Spencer looked into Arias eyes and smiled, Aria smiled right back at her.

 


End file.
